Inuyasha, written by two demonically pissed teens
by MinaMiyu
Summary: The entire Inuyasha plot, rewritten in our favor. Yes we do pop in from time to time. Co-written by Minamiyu and Rohtalin


This World of Inuyasha as written by the minds of two demonically, um, pissed authors. (This would hint at us not owning the story. )  
  
As I sit on my throne, pondering the meaning of life, I come to understand that when I sent my fluffy, pink, rabid bunny rabbits to kill the Teletubbies was a bad idea. Teletubbies are (unfortunately) immortal, and only another immortal can kill them. So I recall my sweet little bunnies and send Barney after them instead. I watch as Barney rips off the heads of all but La-La. Then La-La bites Barney's tail and Barney collapses. Apparently, Barney's weakness is his tail. Hmmm......interesting....  
  
"So, who will we torment, today, huh?" asked Talaroh inquisitively.  
  
"I think maybe we should pay a visit to our friends in the feudal era, what about you?" questioned Asteaband.  
  
"Ah yes, a brilliant idea. Who shall we pop in on first?"  
  
"Hey, that dude is commandeering a pink jewel. GAH!!! PINK!!! WHO'D WANT THAT?"  
  
Talaroh shuddered. "And he's a guy, too. Honestly."  
  
"Well, his name DOES mean half GIRL dog demon, so.."  
  
"Well that would explain that, then. I feel so sorry for any female who could actually maybe possibly like him."  
  
"Well. That's later on. Be quiet or you'll give away the story!"  
  
"Oh, right. Beg pardon."  
  
And so the story begins.  
  
"So, what's this story again?" Talaroh questioned blankly.  
  
*WHACK* "Idiot, you should remember. How can you forget so easily?" Asteaband demanded.  
  
Lets see here. so, we've got a very strange half demon who likes pink (what cute ears!!!), a girl chasing him (what is he her jealous ex, or something?), and a white baboon who looks like a woman. Shh, don't tell them about him yet! Now, what chaos can we contribute to that? Well, let's change the scenery first of all. An ancient village, how cliché is that? Let's make it a. cheese factory. Yes, that's it. Okay, so what's going on?  
  
This guy with really cute ears is being chased by his (we assume) jealous ex girlfriend. She seems to be aiming a shoe at him. Ooh, nice stiletto heel. She throws that thing right, it'll nail him to a tree, I mean a wheel of cheese. She aims, fires, Bull's-eye!! Three points for the girlfriend!!!  
  
*regular point of view*  
  
"Kikyou. I thought you loved me!" Inuyasha began crying uncontrollably, "and thus, I die. *death*"  
  
Kikyou began laughing evilly "Mwahahahahahah!!!! *gasp* " And she too fell down dead. At her request, the employees of said cheese factory burned her, as well as the pink *gag* jewel. However, they accidentally set the cheese factory ablaze as well. The giant wheel of Inuyasha cheese was the only thing that did not burn. Eventually, a forest of mutant cheese trees grew up around it. Now here we are, 500 years later.  
  
Back to Insanity (Insanity is the realm in which we reside)  
  
We now have: a girl who looks like that jealous girlfriend of the female half dog demon who likes pink, an old man (senile, we're pretty sure), her mother, and her bother (I mean brother). What to do, what to do, what to do. Let's introduce her to that lovely pink-loving guy, but I think he's still stuck to that cheese. what kind of cheese was it, anyway? I'm rather partial to Swiss, but I don't think they have that in Japan. Anyway, how are we going to get her to the past? I mean, it HAS been 550 years.  
  
"I know, we can do this!" Talaroh exclaimed. They whispered to each other secretively.  
  
"Yeah, this would be the opportune moment to mention we can shape-shift. Hee hee, on with the show, I mean, story, of course*  
  
*regular point of view (you know, the sadly sane one)*  
  
"Kagome, take those paints outside, I don't want you messing up the walls. We just finished repainting them white from the last time you and Souta used pink paint inside," her mother called frantically.  
  
"Alright, mom, honestly. You'd think you didn't trust us." Kagome replied, feigning hurt. "By the way, have you noticed that Grandpa's acting strangely? And he looks a bit shorter, too."  
  
Asteaband, in the guise of Old Man Higurashi, and began yelling, "I am not short!" At this point (s)he glared in the direction of the U.S. "And if you say anything like that, Ryoko, you will be sent ten thousand glares!" Everyone stared at him strangely. A scowling Mr. Higurashi shouted to Kagome, "Alright, as punishment for disrespecting your elders, you get to repaint the entire wheel house! You too, Souta, I know you were thinking it!"  
  
Kagome and Souta made their way to the wheel house. "I don't understand why we have a shrine to cheese, anyway" Souta complained as he opened the doors, revealing the giant wheel of Swiss cheese within. "It smells bad, and there could be strange disgusting bugs in there and stuff."  
  
Suddenly, a giant centipede, (really Talaroh) popped out of the cheese wheel and grabbed Kagome. "AAAAH" she screamed, flailing her arms wildly as she was dragged into the giant wheel of cheese. "Give me the shiny pink *shudder* thingy" Remember, kids, she's just acting. She HATES pink. As does Asteaband. "I don't know what you're talking about. Get away from me!" she cried, moving to hit the "demon". The light reflected off her hand, making the area around her glow a bright pink. "NO, NOT PINK!!! AHHHHH" screamed the demon, before disappearing in horror.  
  
Kagome, confused, climbed out of the cheese and looked at her surroundings. "Umm, I think I must've hit my head" she stated, walking toward the direction she thought was home. Stumbling through the cheese forest, she came upon a giant wheel of cheese, with a man pinned to it by a shoe. "What the heck?" She walked up to him, noting his cute ears. "Aww, they're like dog ears. I think I wanna.... touch 'em" *squeak, squeak* She tweaked his ears, forgetting the paint on her hands.  
  
Just then, a villager walked up. "You girl, what are you doing.." He stopped, taking in Inuyasha's pink ears. Then he threw himself to the ground and began bowing to the pink eared half-demon. Kagome poked at him. "What are you doing, sir?" she asked. Still bowing, the man replied, "Pink is sacred. It represents the great cheese god of our village. This man must be him. You have pink hands!!! You must be the cheese goddess." He began bowing to her as well. Running backwards, he bowed his way back to the village, hitting a few trees along the way. He came back a few minutes later with a cheese carriage and a few more villagers. Confused, Kagome looked at them strangely, until they explained that she must be their goddess. At this point, Kagome just accepted the oddities, sure she must be dreaming. Either that or insane. After all, what crazy people would do something like that? Or insult themselves? Anyway, she thought that at least it wouldn't be too bad being a goddess, even if her hands were pink. She climbed into the carriage, and stared when the villagers replaced one of the carriage wheels with the one containing Inuyasha. "Well, that was unexpected," she thought. They proceeded to the village, the shape-shifters following close behind in the guise of two pigeons. "If they treat all their gods like that, it's no wonder they are reduced to worshipping pink," whispered Talaroh, looking on in horror at the sight of so much pink. The entire village was pink! From the houses made of cheese, to the very pink-brick road, every aspect of the place was pink. "I'm scared," Asteaband confided, shaking in her feathers.  
  
The people-type creatures stopped the carriage in the village square, and formed a step-ladder for Kagome to exit. She looked at them dubiously, before tentatively stepping down onto the backs of the villagers and walking to the open space the villagers had left. The villager who had found them kneeled next to her, and related the tale of how they were found to those around him. Upon hearing the part where Kagome's hands turned things pink, more of them flocked out of the cheeses, bringing various household objects. They crowded around her, begging her to touch them, to turn them pink. One of them grabbed a pigeon, who happened to be Talaroh. "Nooooooooo!!!" she cried, though she was helpless in her pigeon-shape. "I can't take this anymore! Die, pink, die!!!" saying this, she transformed rapidly into Mistress Centipede, and began attacking the pink houses, the pink road, and the whole bloody pink village. Well, if it wasn't bloody before, it sure would be soon. Kagome, even though she was sure this was a dream, pretty much freaked out. She ran over to the carriage, thinking that maybe, just maybe, the villagers would think to take her back to the cheese wheel she had come from. But it was not to be. The villagers were too busy saving their own newly pinked possessions to take care of their new-found goddess. So Kagome just crouched down by the wheel holding Inuyasha, hoping to prevent detection. Overcome by the kawaii-ness of his ears, she reached out and tweaked them again. This time, however, the odd hanyou reacted. He started twitching, growling, and then smelling at Kagome, trying to determine who she was. Catching the odd scent that adorned his ears, he reached up and felt them curiously. Bringing his hands back down, he stared at the pink paint now on them. "What have you done to my ears, wench?!? I love it! My ears are pink!" Everything ground to a halt. "What?" several villagers asked. This reaction was most unexpected. "PINK!!!" Mistress Centipede shouted, flinging herself at Inuyasha. "Pull out the shoe! Pull out the shoe!" Inuyasha cried. Kagome hurriedly pulled out the shoe and flung it at Mistress Centipede. "Ow, that hurt, you jerk! Who throws a shoe, honestly! You fight like a woman!" At this point, Inuyasha had had enough. "Iron reaver soul stealer!" Mistress Centipede fell with a large thud into a pink hut. "Pink! And thus, in this horrible misery, I die" Inuyasha turned to Kagome. "Now Kikyou, what have you done with the pretty jewel?" "I'm not Kikyou. I'm Kagome. What the heck are you talking about?" Just then, a pink *no more pink, for love of God!* glow surrounded her, and a pink *what did we say about pink?!?* jewel appeared before her. "What is this?" Inuyasha began to laugh. "I knew you had it. Gimme the shiny pink thingy!!!!"  
  
The end. A/N: Well, that's episode 1. Please R&R. BTW, thanks to all of our friends for their inspiration. Ja ne! 


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